Modesty

For about the past three years I have been debating whether or not it was my place to speak out about this topic. I had pretty much decided I would keep my mouth shut until today while I was trying to fall asleep for a nap. As I laid there I started thinking about all of the prophets in the scriptures who spoke to multitudes of people trying to convince them to be better, without worrying about what the people might think of them. They were heavily persecuted, and yet they pressed forward. Because I am scared, I tried to push the thoughts aside, but I was not successful. I’m still not very good at deciphering, but I feel fairly sure it was the Spirit prompting me. So here we go.

Since I was really young I can remember having lessons in church about modesty. I was taught that my body is a temple. I can take care of my temple by eating right, exercising, staying away from addictive substances, and also, by dressing modestly. All of these were so easy for me (ok eating right gets me sometimes) growing up in my little town with other LDS girls who had my same morals. There was never any question what I would wear to the pool. I spent hours online and in the stores and even a few extra dollars finding a swimming suit that was modest. My parents emphasized the importance of modesty and I knew they were right.

It wasn’t until a few years after I left home that I struggled with the principle of modesty. At that point I was totally unaware that there were LDS girls and women who wore bikinis. This was something I had never even considered. When I realized how many girls actually thought this was ok it shook me. At first I was upset. Then I began to question. I had the same lessons all my life that they had, and I wondered if I was being silly or maybe taking it too far. Maybe showing the world my belly wasn’t that big of a deal. You might be surprised how seriously this affected me, and how much I struggled with deciding what was right. After quite a while and with Drew’s encouragement I came to the conclusion that “modesty was the best policy.” I decided to stick with what I had learned from my parents. I am so happy I did.

I had the thought a few times “I’m already wearing a swimming suit which isn’t totally a modest thing to begin with. Does it really matter if I just make it a little smaller swimming suit and take out the middle?” You might think this same thing, but how far are you willing to go? Where will you draw the line?

Part of the reason I struggled so much was because I felt like a loner. So many times I was the only one at the pool with my stomach covered and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I hated it. Honestly I still really don’t love that, but I have come to terms with it. I tell myself that we are supposed to be a “peculiar people.” Standing out for doing the right thing is a good thing. If someone were to come up to me at the pool and discuss religion with me (I have seen this happen) I would not be ashamed to tell them I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If they knew about our belief in modesty, they would not question whether or not I lived that principle. I want to always be prepared to represent the church in a positive way.

Our church leaders are always giving counsel to the men about staying away from the evils of pornography. I have known quite a few men personally who have struggled with this issue, and I know a girl in a bikini is NOT helpful. Do you want to be part of the solution, or do you want to add to the problem? Are you comfortable being another man’s pornography?

I really hope I don’t lose friends over this, and I hope this post doesn’t make me come off as self-righteous. I have so many faults its ridiculous, but this is one thing I am absolutely sure about, and I feel like it is time for me to be brave and say what I know to be true. The people that struggle with this tend to be the most amazing people I know. Don’t let this one thing bring you down. Please consider what message you want to send to the people around you, and the message you want to send to Heavenly Father. He loves you and I love you too!

This quote by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has been running through my head lately. He makes me want to try harder every day to be better.

“There is a saying that big gates move on small hinges. Sisters, your example in seemingly small things will make a big difference in the lives of our young people. The way you dress and groom yourselves, the way you talk, the way you pray, the way you testify, the way you live every day will make the difference. This includes which TV shows you watch, which music you prefer, and how you use the Internet. If you love to go to the temple, the young people who value your example will also love to go. If you adapt your wardrobe to the temple garment and not the other way around, they will know what you consider important, and they will learn from you.

You are marvelous sisters and great examples. Our youth are blessed by you, and the Lord loves you for that.”