I just have some questions for all the baby experts out there. Darcy has started throwing fits. I really really don't like it. If she doesn't get exactly what she wants or if I take something away from her she thrashes around and sometimes even tries to bite me! I can't figure out where she got that. Drew and I certainly haven't been biting her when we're mad. :) Does anyone have any ideas or things you have tried for this kind of thing?
Also, I think I will never go shopping again. She doesn't want to stay in the cart. She wants to walk around and be free. If I don't let her out she screams. What do you do with your kids when you shop?
When do you start time-outs? Is she too young still?
6 comments:
Spank her
Good idea Tyler.:) totally try it. I don't think there is good advice for this one. Maybe there is. Super Nanny said you can start time out when they can say sorry, I tried recently to put Lindy on time one, That was a joke, but she did see that she was in trouble so I guess the point got across. I have no good advice, I am no good at this one. Lydia still throws fits and screams at me. Ask your mom, that's what I always say. :) Good luck with that one.
Make the seat belt as tight as you can when you shop, so she doesn't try to get out of the cart, and I just bring snacks or a book to distract them. Shopping is definitely hard with kids! I started time outs at about 18 months. Tantrums, hate to say it, but it is just the beginning, and it will get a lot worse unfortunately. I ignored Bens when he would throw himself on the floor and kick his legs. Help that helps a little :)
I started putting Porter in time out when he was old enough to get into trouble. He still pushes his limits, but he never likes time out.
Whenever Porter throws a fit, I don't respond. If he starts getting physical, I warn him, then put him in time out if it continues.
The way I measure the time he spends in time out is by his age. Like now he's 2.5 so he stays in time out for 2.5 minutes. Then he says sorry, gives me a kiss, and I tell him why he was in it and then remind him that I love him.
Sometimes, when he would bite when he was little, I'd bite him back so he understood what it felt like and that it's not pleasant. He only bit me twice.
Porter and shopping have had issues, too. I just brought him toys to play with so he's not bored, a bottle, and snacks. He loves it now. I don't even buckle him. I did, but then I figured out that was partially why he was screaming.
I'm in no way an expert, but I hope that helps. Everyone does different things for different kids. :)
Good luck!
Timeouts don't work yet in my experience...but I've heard plenty of mom's say it works for their kids. They just must have very docile obedient kids who can sit still in a corner or on a chair or in their room. I don't shop with my kids unless it's an emergency trip...it's a good excuse to not spend money...it's just not worth taking them into the store, so I don't. The grocery store and Costco are the exception...I may have fat kids later, but if I bribe them with a bakery cookie and then hurry after they get it, they are finishing it when we leave the store and that seems to work right now. Unless Whitney steals Michael's cookie and eats them both. Fits are just normal...and when that phase passes another one will come, heaven forbid her next phase is playing with poop! ;) For the most part, I love that just when I'm at the breaking point with a phase they are going through...they grow out of it and move on to the next hard phase. I told Sarah F. this one though...I think when I take pictures and focus on the future... how this will be cute and funny-haha and blog or journal about it...the annoyance and frustration of it melts {a little.) Ah, well. Your next kid will have a completely different reaction and different melting points and different freak out moments all at different ages...it'd be nice if Darcy was the test and then from here on out, you knew it all...but each kid seems to have their own phases. I do agree with Laura on Super Nanny...even if I don't do exactly what she does...it's fun to see new ideas and what works and doesn't on the show. I don't know who said it, but I love the saying, "you are better than you think you are"...you are probably doing just what you should with D...and it's just hard to see because you are in the thick of it. I'm sure you'll come up with some great tricks that work for her but won't for the next...haha! :)
Fits are horrible. Delson throws fits all the time. We give him time outs now in the corner and we have to sit there and hold him or else he will get up and leave. When he was a year old we would give him time outs in his crib because he couldn't escape and then he could learn to calm himself down. The best thing to do during tantrums is to ignore them because all they want is your attention and if you give it to them, you are just reinforcing the tantrums, but that is much easier said than done. I HATE listening to screaming. It drives me nuts, so I am not very good at ignoring it. Now we tell Delson to go to his room whenever he starts to scream and he will go and close the door and sometimes scream a few more times, but then he calms down and we let him back out again. It is important for them to learn to calm down on their own I think. In the stores, I just really hurry. I know what I need to get, I get it, and I get out ASAP. Sometimes I can distract Delson by telling him to point to his eyes, nose, mouth, knees, etc. That helps a lot. I've also taught him how to take deep breaths, so when he starts freaking out, I can distract him by telling him to take a deep breath and I usually have him take a few and that really helps. Every child is different, so you just have to try several different things and see what works best for you. I hope that helps! We miss you guys!
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